i am not so happy this morning, first off i dont know where my period is and last night at a bigger gathering of the social group, i saw my mate with a woman with here and him in very sexual position. something about it made not confront this. in fact i turned my back on it. i went outside and told a young lesbo about it to get it out. she is young so she spoke up right away, i never seen blab blab. i have heard this before. i didn't want any sort of anything. i would say i was being friendly with hugs and pecks with many yet in a messed up way. yet i didn't have any male members near my crotch. in the car i was wasted and he spoke how he would never and something about the attractive womans looks. a retroactive response in my mind. these things happen and the woman has ruined some fools life or the fool went off the deep end. from in Oprah i trust on day tv minds men and marriage. i have always known he is sly and lies. in the most honest way, i am stuck and feel ripped off. recently i been think of value in inexpensive and expensive with behavior and looks. i am so tired of the cheap way, it makes me feel anger and be anxious. then i am distracted by grief with the what if i learn Italiano with him will it be okay.